Big women onstage: bold and boring?

As is my ritual every Tuesday night, tonight I sat down with a glass of wine to enjoy my favorite television show right now: Smash. For those of you who have never seen nor heard of the show, all you need to know is this: the show centers around the process of making a Broadway show—from the writing, to the directing, to the rehearsal and so on, until the opening of the show on Broadway. It focuses on two girls, fighting for the lead role, in this case, the role of Marilyn Monroe. While I love the show for theatre aspects and the snazzy musical numbers, I can’t help but feel a little saddened every time I watch the show. The girls on my TV screen are those who I strive to be, not only because I envy their talent but also because they are both so beautiful.  But week after week as I watch Karen and Ivy fight to be strong woman in the theatre world, I look at myself and can’t help but compare. If two women like this can’t make it (and I’m certain that the show is strongly dramatized and over exaggerated) can I, as a bigger girl succeed in my dream?

I recently read a pretty powerful article featured on the guardian’s website about the role of bigger women onstage. While this was no more than a critic piece, what the author said was inspiring. It spoke to me as a girl who feels hopeful and lost in the world of size 2, blonde actresses. Throughout my college career alone I have been pegged as many things due to my weight: the funny friend, the caring mother, and the bitchy Alpo-eating girlfriend. I see actresses like Melissa McCarthy shine in the comedic roles she is given, always the same. But very little are women like McCarthy recognized because of their true acting talent. Especially in an age demographic of younger people, being overweight is not seen as a positive trait, and if you are lucky enough to make it onstage or in movies, those people fight constantly to break out of it.

So I guess what I’m saying is, who are the true role models in the world of the rich and famous? Should aspiring actors and actresses look up to people like Megan Hilty or Katherine Mcphee, who are both extraordinarily talented (and know it!) but who use the way they look so often in Smash to get ahead? Or should we be looking up to girls who are confident in himself or herself, such as Melissa McCarthy or Octavia Spencer or even Rebel Wilson, who are also talented, and use that to be successful? Not only that, but are shows like this one teaching us that in order to be successful we need to “sleep our way to the top”? As someone who is passionate about theatre, I am also passionate about how to break the stereotypes we are put into, and fighting against this pre-conceived notion of what you need to look like or do in order to get ahead. I hope that when you watch shows that are about sex appeal and the way women look, you realize that this is superficial and not how real life should be. Let’s recognize those for their true talents, no matter the age, or weight. I’m a big actress, and I am proud of it.